MUSE: Things you can't say in a newsroom

So, I just finished an internship at a newspaper near Boston. During my experience I learned that there are several things you can't say in a newsroom.

I learned these through trial and error:

1.) "Usually I just make up my quotes."
2.) "Who needs facts when you have fiction?"
3.) "We should totally report on a UFO landing."
4.) "What is a lie, really?"
5.) "I can't finish this article. Will someone show me how to add liberal bias?"

Of course I was joking when I said all these things, but my dry humor and monotone voice combined to make some of my co-workers think I was a lawsuit waiting to happen. That's my theory anyway; mostly I was greeted by blank stares and sighs.

My handiwork: